How Do You Define Happiness?...

NOTE: Much of the dialogue below was written back in February, however I did not post it. I was inspired instead to think deeply on my answers - for my sake and yours. I have therefore put in quotes the original writing and then followed below with my thoughts from NOW.

"How do you define happiness?...

This is the question that fellow personal development blogger Alex Shalman wrote to ask me. While I know he wrote to many people, this question seemed to beg answering.

Such a simple question...yet if we could all answer it - and live our answers - the world would change overnight.

Alex has created what he calls The Happiness Project.

You may have already heard about it, however if you haven't, there's plenty of insight and inspiration to be soaked up with this one. He is in the process of interviewing top personal development bloggers about their views on his simple questions about happiness, and all interviews and answers are posted for us to enjoy and reap benefits from.

Thanks, Alex, for the inspiration. Without further adieu, here are my (current) answers to the questions posed by Alex's Happiness Project. Be sure to spend some time reading the many inspiring answers yourself by CLICKING HERE, and if you are a blogger, by all means participate as well!

1. How do you define happiness?


2. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your happiness now, versus when you were a child?


3. What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day) ?


4. What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?


5. What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?"

Excellent questions. However, I've changed this to suit my own questions and my deeper answers. I thank you again, Alex, for the inspiration and I apologize for not participating in the way that you requested.

The following is a list of some of the things that make me happy...and the why.

• Sunny days, sparkling water: sheer exuberance and joy and 'NOW' feelings
• The sound of rain, and the misty sunny time after the rain: the first is relaxing and both are calming and refreshing
• Beautiful classical music: that poignant, 'too beautiful I can't stand it' feeling
• Birds: sweet little birds and beautiful macaws and flamingos..they are so different from us, and I love to stand and listen to them talk to one another for a few minutes when I'm out walking
• Travel: that feeling of going new places, exciting experiences

• Turquoise water and palm trees: sheer appreciation for beauty and a scene that feels like I'm meant to be there >>
• Beautiful clothes and exquisite jewelry: the feeling of elegance and decadence
• Well-dressed men: sexiness, confidence, appreciation
• Accomplishing a goal: satisfaction, pride, more confidence in myself
• Helping someone else: sharing a connection and feeling worthy and compassionate
• 'Getting' something I've been struggling with: Relief, and self-validation ie. all the struggle was worthwhile
• Exercise: physical exhaustion, strength, power
• Adventure: feeling like I'm squeezing the most out of life
• Laughing, children giggling: the joy of life and lightheartedness
• Compliments from people I admire: this is deeper than feeding the ego. When someone I admire says they admire my work, it validates something deep inside and motivates me to keep going
• Suddenly remembering not to take myself seriously: The literal feeling of lightening up
• A breakthrough in thinking, a new insight: 'Aha!' moment when perspective changes, altering life
• Waterfalls and bubbling water: the jumping, bubbling spirit of water makes me feel renewed and full of joy
• The human spirit: Reminders of our connectedness

After contemplating the overall meaning of these things, I realize there is a common theme running through them, and that happiness is neither a journey nor a destination nor a choice...all of the things I had thought it was. It is, for me, a feeling that we strive for. I feel it most in moments when I feel closest to:

• My higher self
• My best self
• My vision of how things 'could be' if they were even more wonderful than now
• Simplicity
• Connectedness with others
• The sanctity and quietness of NOW
• Self-confidence
• Honoring and knowing my self
• Living by my own voice
• The spirit - the force - of life

Here is my daughter, demonstrating. Enjoy!

How Do You Define Happiness?...

Why Can't We Be Fresh Every Day?

No, I'm not talking about personal hygiene.

What I mean is, why is it only around New Year's that we get contemplative, look at our lives with fresh eyes and make resolutions to change? Why don't we go to bed every night or wake up each morning and review what is going well, what we'd like to accomplish and things we wish to adjust? A year is an awfully long time to wait to acknowledge we may need to change something, and to wait again until we evaluate how we've done.

Perhaps we are afraid to look at our lives directly, and so we save it up until we feel somewhat obligated by the New Year's tradition. Somehow the thought of a fresh new year makes us feel empowered to make changes, as if we have a clean slate and a rocket-powered start. The beautiful part is the feeling that comes along with it...that wonderful feeling of having a new lease on life...another chance.

Why not create that feeling every day?? A NEW DAY. A new chance. It really can be true if we look at it that way. Each sunrise we are given a fresh, new day, and no one but us holds tethers to the past and the way things have been. We can be or do anything we want, and we enjoy the free will to change any part of it at any moment.

This doesn't mean you can run off over the horizon and leave your spouse and kids behind wondering what the heck happened (although you could), but it does mean that your life is not as solid and steady as you make it out to be. Everything is fluid, and you are keeping things looking the same by your habits and thought patterns. Imagine the progress you could make towards your dreams if, instead, you viewed each day as a clean slate and wrote on it what you'd like it to look like. This is more about feelings of empowerment, freedom, and happiness than about events or circumstances. If you go to sleep and say to yourself 'When I wake up, I want to be on a sunny tropical beach and have no worries for the rest of my life' when in reality you are an accountant with a wife, three kids and a big project due tomorrow, you are going to wake up disappointed. Instead, work on creating the feelings you want, and the circumstances will bend to your creative powers.

Did I say work? I meant PLAY. Play, each day, with creating more and more of the wonderful feelings you want to make up the fabric of your life. Explore and discover what makes you happy, excited, and puts that fresh spring in your step, and then create more of that. Don't wait until next year.

**********************

Happy For No Reason...now there's a great book title! This book is creating waves on the market, and for good reason. It comes recommended by many mentors I love, from Jack Canfield to Dr. Mehmet Oz, Marianne Williamson to Phil Town. As Phil Town says in a recent review, this book isn't about Pollyanna-ish happy sayings, it's about raising your baseline of happiness. I would say it's about getting the HAPPY first, and attracting the things you want by being your truest, lightest self - happy, healthy and full of joy. More friends, more money, better connections, better treatment wherever you go...you won't get these when you have more money. You'll get them - the money included - when you have the feelings which attract them. Of course, we've been learning this all along, but this is a cumulative process. Every book, every source of information which can say it in a new way and really get through to you is worth the investment. Each chinks away at the armor of self-defensive behavior, resentment and frustration, and habitual thought patterns which keeps things the way they are. If you go ahead and get this book, which is destined to be a classic in the self development field, enjoy!

Why Can't We Be Fresh Every Day?